Doug Lee is undead quite by accident- attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But now it’s just not the same.
Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her- hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the laws of vampire existence are complicated- it’s not as easy as studying Dracula. Especially when the star of Vampire Hunters is hot on your trail in an attempt to boost ratings…
Searing, hilarious, and always unexpected, Fat Vampire is a satirical tour de force from one of the most original writers of fiction today.
What I Expected: a light read, different from other paranormal books. When I saw that the MC was a guy vampire with NO sad, depressed girls after him (in fact, he was after a girl this time) I was really looking forward to something refreshing.
The storyline basically goes a) Doug turns into vampire, b) he wonders what to do with his life now, c) he falls for the Indian exchange student Sejal, but d) changes completely once he gets a taste of something much better than cow blood.
I liked the book up to the point where Doug started being all serious and evil. Up till then, Fat Vampire had been light and funny and very different from other paranormal books. But then came the second, dark half, and things didn’t work that well for me there.
Doug wasn’t all that memorable, seeing as he undergoes a complete personality change halfway through, but he was definitely very different from the conventional, beautiful vampire- he was the um, slightly pudgy, nerdy vampire. That alone was worth reading about.
Jay, Doug’s best friend, who is not a vampire, by the way, was so cute and nerdy and surprisingly interesting to read about. I loved how whenever he lied, he’d speak in caps, basically talk really loudly. And he didn’t swear, either.
The Indian exchange student, Sejal, is definitely not the mopey, lovesick girl featured in many vampire books. And Cat, the girl whose parents’ house Sejal is living in, may be goth, but she’s definitely not suicidal or whatever the stereotypes were about goths. Is anybody even goth anymore?
The one thing I couldn’t understand is why everyone kept saying ‘rad’. Isn’t that like, from the seventies or something? But there were other swearwords that I think haven’t existed until our era, so it’s probably a drama thing…?
Parting Thoughts: I liked the nerdiness and humor in the first half, but the second half, wasn’t nearly as entertaining. I kept willing myself to read faster; it was like struggling through mud, those last few pages. But the conclusion was funny and horrible at the same time, if that’s possible, and even though I went ‘huh?’ at the last line, I reread the last two pages a couple of times and understood what happened. At least, what I think happened.
Rating: 3.5/5. It was an average book, one I read because I wanted something different from the usual paranormal novel, which was what was happening for the first half. The sinister end portion didn’t really work for me, but hey, it might for you. If you’re looking for something refreshing to read, Fat Vampire is it.